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The
Caregiver Companion
Email Newsletter
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Feb 14, 2001
Dear Friends:
Welcome to The
Caregiver Companion newsletter, Vol. 1 #2.
In this newsletter we
have included:
Some special inspirational
words
Gary's New
Awarenesses, from our recent excursion to the Harp Therapy
Conference
Anne's Tribute to
Caregivers
Review of Beth Witrogen
McLeod's book, Caregiving
Grandma, Please, Let's
Make a Snowman
Chicken Casserole
Recipe
Robert Frost's poem, Stopping
by the Woods on a Snowy Evening
New articles at www.caregivercompanion.com
A Salute to
St. Valentine
Kids
Say the Darnedest Things
From a Different Perspective
|
The Pacific
Ocean Sunset from our "Mindfulness" retreat in CA
last spring
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Rise up
nimbly
and go on your strange journey
to the ocean of meanings
The
Stream knows
it can't stay on the mountain.
Leave and don't look away
from the sun as you go,
in whose light you're sometimes crescent,
sometimes full.
From The
Illustrated Rumi,
used by
permission of Broadway Books, 1540 Broadway, New York, NY 10036
More Rumi poetry and
the biography of this 13th century mystic at
http://www.caregivercompanion.com/11anurtureindex.htm#Inspiration
New Awareneses
Last week, Anne and I had the
wonderful opportunity to journey to Richmond, Virginia for the Harp
Therapy conference. My major purpose in attending was to learn more
about providing music for healing and transition in my volunteer work with
hospice patients.
However, my most important gains were
from the wonderful people who crossed our paths during our trip.
The Person I will Never Forget
During the conference, we decided to
take a break and explore downtown Richmond. It was Saturday
afternoon, and we found it totally void of people. The quiet was a
welcomed relief from the fast pace of the conference.
As we approached the new City Hall, I
noted a solitary man exit and begin his journey. Soon, it became
apparent that our unrelated destinations would result in our paths
crossing.
When that opportunity occurred, we
exchanged greetings. The man then stepped behind me to pick up a
piece of paper that was gently moving in the late afternoon breeze.
With my joking nature, I remarked,
"That could be a full-time job." He responded, "This
is my job". He went on to share his great pride in his city of
Richmond.
As we stood on the sidewalk, he
mentioned that this very spot had been the site of his childhood games.
His Presence
I wish I had been carrying my camera
as I would have liked to preserve his image. He was about the same
age as I, of a much stockier build with less height. His energy of
life seemed to be more evident than mine, and he exhibited the presence of
one of the happiest and most satisfied people I have ever experienced.
I was drawn to the moist rich quality
of his lips that were continually breaking into his smile, revealing
bright pink gums with random placement of teeth, an indication he had not
been privy to the dental care I had received during my youth.
A perfectly trimmed mustache framed
his lips with random placement of defined white, silver, and black
whiskers. His hair had much the same composition, but was waxed
tightly against his skin, neatly arranging in precise order, the curl of
his genetic heritage.
Below his chin was a formal black bow
tie, indicating his probable employment in service. The top of the
tie had been worn thin and exhibited a frayed appearance. My guess
was he spent much of his employed day with his head down, causing his chin
to rub the tie.
The Opportunity to Share
Our new acquaintance was excited by
this opportunity to share his history with us. In his youth, his
church had been made up of both blacks and whites, but the blacks were
relegated to the balcony with the whites assembling in the preferred
downstairs pews. Later, the whites built a new church and sold the
old one to the blacks.
Then his face beamed and his voice
gained excitement as he told us about the present white and black churches
actually coming back together, sharing ministers and services.
After we parted, I imagined him
heading for the warmth and joy of his own home. I wondered how
this man who apparently had so much less than I, could be so much happier,
more joyful and prouder than I.
Could it be that all I have received
has led me to the conclusion that I need more? However, my new
friend, with much less opportunity seemed much more satisfied. How
interesting that our paths would cross, enabling him to share this message
with me at this point in my life.
This Paradox
"Less is more" is not a new
concept to me, but one that grows in strength as I continue to become more
aware. I, as a performing musician, often get tangled up in
the quality of my notes as if more makes me better. I then loose
sight of the fundamental importance of just being present with my
audience. The proof of the latter continues to touch me with
visits from people like this wonderful man, and especially my hospice
patients and their caregivers.
More of Gary's journaling can be
found at The Caregiver Companion web site:
http://www.caregivercompanion.com/13gary1rose.htm
A Meaningful & Valuable Book
During my flights to and from
the Harp Therapy conference, I chose to read Beth Witrogen McLeod's book, Caregiving,
The Spiritual Journey of Love, Loss, and Renewal.
Beth's description of the caregiving
journey reinforces my perspective that "less is more" can
provide the opportunity for spiritual growth.
Give up our "American Dream"?
Having been a caregiver for both of
her parents, Beth has combined her journey with dozens of stories given to
her by other caregivers. This warm and personal approach offers a
comforting hand to those of us blindly moving through these uncharted
waters.
According to Beth, being a caregiver
is not a path for achieving our "American Dream". Instead
it is a journey costly in money, emotions, and physical being.
However, these losses and expenses can be a vehicle for tremendous
personal and spiritual growth opportunities.
Beth's creation is a wonderfully
artistic "cookbook" for minimizing the expenses, deprivations
and losses of caregiving while maximizing the caregiver's personal gains.
At the same time, Beth's suggestions help the caregiver give their loved
one the "prime time" life experiences they deserve.
It is natural, even instinctive to
prefer comfort to pain, the familiar to the unknown. But sometimes
our instincts are not wise. Life usually offers us far more than
our biases and preferences will allow us to have. Beyond comfort
lie grace, mystery, and adventure. We may need to let go of our
beliefs and ideas about life in order to have life.
Rachel Naomi Remen, Kitchen
Table Wisdom
(One of the many quotes Beth has used
in her book to guide, illustrate, and ease the caregiving journey.)
We will be choosing more sections
from Beth Witrogen McLeod's Caregiving, The Spiritual Journey of Love,
Loss, and Renewal to help your "caregiving journey"
They will be featured in upcoming articles for www.caregivercompanion.com
and newsletters.
You can order this book from our
friends (there are real people at the other end) at www.horizonbooks.com.
Permission to review this book comes
from Beth's publisher, John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 605 Third Avenue, New
York, NY 10158 6252
These gentle bodies are eating us out of house and home this year.
However, their capacity to survive the rough Michigan winter with such
energy, spirit and life makes for a wonderful non-tax deductible
expense.
A "Caregiver Tribute" from Anne
I am still quite new at playing my
harp for healing and transition at the bedside. So I am often
surprised by what I learn during these experiences. I had assumed
most of my awarenesses would come from my interaction with the patient, as
I truly enjoy the spiritual feelings I have when I am playing for these
people.
Sensitivity
of Caregivers
I have been surprised to find myself
even more drawn to the professional caregivers who give so generously from
their hearts when providing care to their patients. I am so deeply
moved by these caregivers that I often find myself focusing my music
toward them rather than the patient, hoping to ease some of their
weariness and frustration.
What I find so wonderful is how
refreshed I am when I finish playing for a patient when the caregiver has
been present. I feel truly blessed by my connection with them.
Somehow, our unconscious interaction has become circular, each of us
nurturing the other.
My Traditional Image of the Caregiver
In the past, I imaged the caregiver
as someone "taking care" of another person by administering only
to their physical needs. I now see many of them as having the
capacity to move to a much deeper and more personal level. They
seem to have a unique capacity to "sense" the thoughts and needs
of their patient, even when their patient may be unable to communicate
verbally. I find this extra ordinary capacity to "sense"
the patient's needs very touching.
A Special Gift
I had never imagined I could be so
moved by someone providing care. Their sensitivity enters my soul
very deeply, and I feel "ministered" to as I watch their
work. I suspect they are totally unaware of their affect on me.
I only hope I give as much in return
to these caregivers as they give to me.
More of Anne's journaling can be
found at The Caregiver Companion web site:
http://www.caregivercompanion.com/13Annesthoughts1gotold.htm
